Wednesday, February 17, 2010

She Can't be 10!!

Dear God,

Please, please, please turn back the clock. And please God, after you turn the clock back, let me still know all I know now.

God, I've made so many mistakes, lost my temper so many times. Always in a hurry, rushing her into that car seat. I think I expected her to be mature and grown up when she was only 5. Please let me have those days back. Please.

She had her 10th birthday yesterday. Over half of my life with her here, in my house, is gone. It can't be so. She was just pretending to be Spirit and Pocahontas last month wasn't it? We were just playing Barbies together, last week, I'm sure. That laundry that I was so worried about while we were playing Barbies really didn't matter did it. Why couldn't I figure that out then....Please.

Again, I'm begging, please. Just back to when she was 3, after Wheeler was born, as I don't want to risk him not being here. I don't think I'm being unreasonable. A second chance with my first born is all I ask...Please.

If you can't honor that request, then please God, help me with this one. Please make the next 8 years go by much slower than the last 10. Please help me to make sure she knows how incredibly much I love her. Please let her forgive me for the many, many times I have been so hard on her. She is so wonderful, despite her mothers mistakes. Please let her know how proud I am of her. Please let me cherish every moment I have with her...Please.



Kimberly said...

I feel the same way. And just like you don't remember the piled up laundry, she won't remember the mistakes. She'll remember when you played Barbies, took her to the pool, watched her concert in the cul de sac. To eight slooww years!!

Elizabeth said...

Thanks Kimberly.

Dani said...

Beautiful! My son will be 10 in April. I feel the same way! They grow so fast. We don't realize what all we will miss when they are older and on their own! I dread those days!

Amanda said...

I think you just spoke the sentiments of every mother I know. I feel the same way.... ALL.THE.TIME. Just think, if we were perfect, we'd sure be setting them up for some major disappointments when they get out there on their own. We all do the best we can do, the best we know how to do.... mostly, though we love them with all our might.... and in the end, especially when they have their own children, they will understand. They will know then what we know now.... there is no love in the world like a mama's love!

Happy 10th Birthday Big Girl!!

Julee H. Nappier said...

Time does fly doesn't it! I cried and cried watching Momma Mia the other night. The part where she sings to her daughter getting her dressed for her big day. Ugh! Don't think I'll be able to take it!

Happy B'day, Kate!!!!!(: