Please, please, please turn back the clock. And please God, after you turn the clock back, let me still know all I know now.
God, I've made so many mistakes, lost my temper so many times. Always in a hurry, rushing her into that car seat. I think I expected her to be mature and grown up when she was only 5. Please let me have those days back. Please.
She had her 10th birthday yesterday. Over half of my life with her here, in my house, is gone. It can't be so. She was just pretending to be Spirit and Pocahontas last month wasn't it? We were just playing Barbies together, last week, I'm sure. That laundry that I was so worried about while we were playing Barbies really didn't matter did it. Why couldn't I figure that out then....Please.
Again, I'm begging, please. Just back to when she was 3, after Wheeler was born, as I don't want to risk him not being here. I don't think I'm being unreasonable. A second chance with my first born is all I ask...Please.
If you can't honor that request, then please God, help me with this one. Please make the next 8 years go by much slower than the last 10. Please help me to make sure she knows how incredibly much I love her. Please let her forgive me for the many, many times I have been so hard on her. She is so wonderful, despite her mothers mistakes. Please let her know how proud I am of her. Please let me cherish every moment I have with her...Please.