Not According to Plan

My friend at http://greengrassgrowshere.blogspot.com/ just posted about family game night and how she had pictured 4 happy children playing games and being great sports with each other ....(I wish I knew how to spell the sound effect of a vinyl record scratching)...it wasn't like that.

Meanwhile, just across town...The Garretts are planning "Family Movie Night".

We had been out of the house all day. Wheeler's basketball game was at 8:15 am on Saturday morning. Then it is off to eat breakfast at our favorite restaurant, Kate and I have to run buy a birthday present, go pick up a friend and get back to her basketball game by 12:00. Kate's game is over so Wheeler and I run Kate and her friend to a skate party at 2:00. We have some errands to run and so I think "I am looking forward to a nice family meal, curling up on the couch and watching some happy, family friendly movie while the rain pitters on the deck outside.

So I let Wheeler pick the movies, with some guidance. At first he wants Ninja Turtles. I say, no you need to think of something that we will all enjoy, you are the only one who will enjoy Ninja Turtles. So he goes back. After lots of no's he finally picks 3...Speed Racer, Inspector Gadget 2, and Firehouse Dog. Yes, he is a boy.

So we pick up Kate and head home. We get in the house, and they start playing Lego Batman on the Wii, which I HATE! I don't hate the game as much as I hate his addiction to it. (But maybe that will be another post) and we don't say hate in this house.

Finally, dinner is ready. There is some whining about turning off Batman. We sit down for some nice family conversation, it is all between Wheeler and his best friend Macy, with some comments from Kate about...Batman Wii! Joe and I have nothing to contribute, so we just eat in silence. Dinner is over, Daddy and I are cleaning up after dinner, Wheeler is whining again about playing Batman Wii until we turn on the movie.....

Finally, movie time. Oops, Daddy forgot to buy the popcorn. Out the kids go in the rain to borrow popcorn from next door. Finally movie time. We put in Speed Racer. Everything is going well, Speed is driving fast and winning races, he is being wined and dined to a big sponsor, then (vinyl record scratches) Some scary looking men are all in this meeting room with a piranah tank beeting another man to a pulp! They are about to feed him to the piranhas! I don't know about you, but I don't remember any piranahs when I watched Speed Racer as a kid. So we skip ahead to a scene with Trixie and Speed sitting in a car talking...but the talking is getting kind of sexy... New movie choice!!!

So after some discussion and whining from my oldest child, we choose Firehouse Dog! Cute movie! I've seen bits and pieces of this, I know it is PG but I think it is fine. All is going well the boy calls the dog "The dog from H---"...Only once, I can overlook that. Then, as I am falling in love with this dog and talking about how cute he is...He jumps up on the table in the firehouse and uses the bathroom in the pot of stew the firemen are about to eat. And I don't mean Number One! Okay, If you know me, you know we do NOT do potty humor in this house. That's it. Joe is done, he gets up and he is done, not watching that anymore. Movie night is over...I finally convince him to come back, maybe that was all the tackiness. No, there was a little bit more passing gas...My children know they better not laugh at that it is off to bed for everyone. After the dog's stomach seems to regulate the movie starts getting good. Now we are getting toward the end and the boy has solved the mystery, it's getting tense, the kids are getting scared for the boy because the firehouse is on fire and the boy is inside. Wheeler wants me to turn it off, but I convince him to come sit in my lap so I can continue telling him that it will be o.k....Here come's Kate, she climbs up in Joe's lap. "C'mon Macy!"..So here she comes to my lap. I can hardly breathe...And the movie is SCRATCHED!!! We watched the whole rest of the movie in still photos. Not breathing.

Not exactly what I had pictured. Oh, well. I'm definitely sticking to G movies from now on. And I am begging any movie makers out there to please...realize that there are children out there. That not all movie watchers want sex, violence, and gas!

Sorry to be such a downer, The next post will be a happy one, I promise!!

We will watch Inspector Gadget 2 soon. It is G. So I think it will be safe, if not, it's back to Winnie the Pooh in this house.